Source of peace

Hey guys,
This blog has been on the back burner for obvious reasons. But now, all the kids are healthy and during this reflection, we're walking away with SO much. We are excited to share face to face, one on one with each person that has walked through this with us, through prayer and financial support. This blog is, however a good place to start.

My last entry was about the peace I saw a friend have during a difficult day for her. I had a very similar difficult few days recently...on many fronts. I see now, "my grace is sufficient for you." I don't think God gives us grace to go through other people's problems. He does, however give us grace to go through our own. When we found out that Luke had such bad malaria, I felt confident that God was in control and that He was good. I had that peace that only the Lord can give. Also, as I watched him get sicker through the night but didn't know what was wrong, I did experience that same sort of peace.

I compare that to times that I walked through illnesses with the kids and didn't have such peace. (One particular malaria case with Charis) The difference? I think it's in the "what-ifs." With Luke, we did have our contingency plans. For instance, we took him to the capital city so that we could have somewhat good care should we need it (and we did). We carried with us what we needed to bring his fever down and we sent out prayer requests immediately. We were prepared, but when my brain went into "what-if" mode (and I know every parent knows what I mean), I took my thoughts captive and enjoyed the peace that comes from knowing a. people are praying, and b. God is good and in control. It was also critical to choose to worship the Lord, looking for ways to serve Him not only despite of the illnesses but through them. Rejoice in suffering. Did I do this though each illness? Not at all! Did I accept God's peace that passes understanding during each moment and just worship him as I watched my children suffer? Nope! But do I understand that peace better than I ever have, not in spite of the suffering but because of it? Absolutely. I told a friend of mine that I experienced peace probably 90% of my time in Africa and she seemed surprised. I guess the only explanation...His grace is sufficient for me. Anyone who knows me, knows that surely if God provides peace during difficult times to me, He can provide it for anyone. It's a gift from Him.

Oh that no one would have been walking through this with us and see anything other than God's goodness and faithfulness. We saw it clearly and felt His comfort stronger than ever before. Now as our future is unclear (more on that later), we are having to chose that same mindset (taking thoughts captive, trusting that God is able and good). We're walking by faith and trying to remember that verse in James that talks about saying "if it is the Lord's will, we will . . .". It's not such a bad place to be:)